Gong Xi Fa Cai :)

Happy CNY to my dearie frenz!!!!
Hope that u all had enjoyed the long holiday & collected lotsa lotsa of ang bao....
As for me, I had a busy CNY... Went to many places to do visiting.. Every night sleeping at 3-4am.. Super tired!!
Just started work yest & still in CNY mood.. Haha! Can't put myself to work mode till nw... I tink I'm nt the only one rite... kekeke~

Anyway, I've got a new present during tis holiday... An iPod touch!!! Tis is my 1stiPod :) so happy... These days I was considering whether to get iPhone or iPod Touch cos it seems fun & useful.. Haha!! But my handphone contract is only due
nxt yr plus I heard tat iPhone batt not lasting etc.. So I decide on iPod Touch.. But it cost $400+, tats y I din buy... But then, I've got it now & I'm blogging wf it nw :)
so happy... I guess this will be classified under the "Things I can't leave home without it"
Lovin it!!! :) (although I'm still learning how to use)
kekeke~

holiday craving

Was yearning for a holiday trip lately... Feel that i should rest my soul abit...
Even went for a 1day trip on sunday for casino ship to satisfy myself alittle of the holiday feel even though i dun like to gamble... But came back feeling sad cos i lose $$$ & fell sick when i came back.... Damn it!!! i just wana say "赌博真可怕......."
Nearly faint in office yesterday due to the 39.2۫C high fever & giddiness... Was not able to go doctor myself cos i afraid i faint on street. But anyway, i'm well again... Alive & kicking tis morning cos i slept at 7pm last nite till tis morning 7.30am.... =)

Oh ya... I saw the real Star Cruise Virgo on sunday.... sOoo luxurious & nice!!! I remember the last time i nearly went for Star Virgo but end up we change our mind to Taipei instead cos tot that cruise would be abit boring... But i guess i'm worng bah... How boring can this BIG thing be?? Never had a chance to have a full view of Star Virgo before... Din noe it was so huge lor.... i should say its DAMN HUGE!!! sOoooooo tempting to go on cruise........
hmm~

is CNY ard the corner??

is it just me or am i the odd one to NOT feel the Chinese New Year mood??

I strongly dun feel the CNY mood ley... I tink tis year's CNY is super quiet... Maybe its the economy bah... Somemore chu 3 most people will start work liao... Just chatted with Ade & got to know that she start work on chu 2 liao... OMG.. Pity her!!
Anyway, i tink most people are busy tis week preparing CNY rite.... Just like me, busy cleaning up the house, buy new stuffs, buy new clothes etc etc...

Talking abt cleaning up house, I'm super duper hot lor... Mummy scolded me yest saying that i din help out... WTH!! Since last 2 weeks, I've been staying at home cleaning the living room, didi's room & toilet bit & bit while both dad & mum are watching tv... [i clean till all my nails are broken & hav no choice but to cut it short... sigh~]
For my room i only start on saturday cos i was too busy cleaning other places!! And she accuse me tat i din help... So sad! I wonder y she always dun appreciate what i've done.... I really dunno wat i have done wrong... She always show favourism between didi & me so CLEARLY!!! Jus like yest, didi complain to her that she bought new curtain for her own room & not for didi's room & my room... As for me, i din complain la.. Just ask her where she bought her curtains & she request me to go buy myself... So I intend to search for curtains for the same series for the whole house except her room cos she hav liao mah... Until yest, didi just complain to her that she bought new curtains for herself & instead for us.... Just a simple remark & she went all the way to buy for him... I dunno wat does it shows or maybe i'm looking too into the issue... Haiz~

Anyway, hope that tis week will be smooth one... avoid & prevent quarrelling... And most importantly try to enjoy the CNY mood if available...

some moments for myself

i just stop my clock for a moment to let myself rest alittle & enjoy some moments for myself...

To bluff myself tat i've got alittle moment to enjoy my nicely freshly brewed coffee & enjoying raindrops view on my glass window & surroundings...

Sometimes i do believe in casting away everything & enjoy "THAT" very moment...
It helps to rest my mind & soul to have a feel of time stopping...

It feels great u noe.... Especially when u are nt in right state....

at least it works for me~

ya... indeed i'm not in right mood today... just like the weather...

hazy... drizzling... moody...

潜意识的我

i wonder why i had tis dream last night... I've been preventing & stopping myself from tinking or brooding over those stuffs liao... But i tink i'm subconsciously brooding over this issue till i'm unaware or dun want to remind myself about it bah... So resulting in 潜意识 [subconsciousness] dreaming of it... Indeed i'm glad about the dream which i feel very bad & shouldn't have felt tis way la... But i guess my dream had reflect my true self, my realli real true feelings that i wish it happens bah... Be it good or bad~

Last 2 days was chatting with my fren Surong... She reminded me that its been sometimes that we seen each other which i recall to be more than 3mths bah... Time realli flies wor... I was stunned that its been so long... I guess i seldom take my initiative to contact my frenz to chat abt their life & things happening around them... I remembered i used to be hogging on the phone for at least 5hours per day but now the reluctance & forgetfulness & laziness to call especially after i started my worklife... Sometimes i felt that my worklife actually contribute to my quiet self... Please bear with me if tis behaviour really annoy u all~ Its not that i dun care k... I just forgt to remind myself to call... Time to time i will try to remind myself more frequently...

As mention was chatting with Surong about her relationship... She kept on complaining abt her bf tis & tat etc etc... She mention that i'm comforting her like as if i'm a Love Consultant/Love Guru... Haha! Dun tink i'm suitable for that name cos i dun believe in it... But i'm quite shock about the way i comfort her cos subconciously i felt that i'm able to see a broader picture than before & view relationship in different aspects/views even though i dun trully believe in love... I was tinking how cum i din use the same tactic to comfort myself when i faced similar problems in the past... Haha! Maybe my subciousness not that strong to overcum bah~

Please put on your thinking cap... Just wana share abit:

Do u people quarrel or do u hear people quarrel before? Have u ever really listen on how people quarrel? Did u notice when people quarrel, they will often use "U.... U.... U... U...." Seldom they will use "I.... I.... I..." even if hav, it will be a question as in "Wat about me? i got wrong meh? Am i wrong?" This is how quarrel aroused bah... Often when u cooled down, u will feel that u r nt right & contributed to the quarrel too.... It always take 2 hands to clap de... I feel that if each party mention more about "I... I... I..." I believe things will get much better bah.... i dunno am i right or wrong but tis is how i feel... At least i use this & seldom quarrel with people mah... Haha~

But just to add on.... Said is easier than done~ I'm human too, I do forget tis tactic at times & end up quarreling too....But at least subconciously i try mah...

No harm to trying~

feeling a sense of relieved~

Was feeling rather worried since september which i mention in my bloggie... But now is a total relieved after my fren called up..At least the outcum is revealed even though it is be exactly the same as expected... Phew~

Was discussing wf a fren about tis topic : Happy & Unhappy moments...
Human tends to feel that time past very fast when they are happy whereas for unhappy/sad moments, the time is crawling so slowly... Am i right? I think most people will feel the same bah.... There's is actually some psychological logic behind this de.... I remember i read it before when i was in secondary school... If i'm not wrong its Estein who found this... Anyway that doesn't matter... As i discuss with my fren, we have different views on waiting period for happy thing & unhappy things....

For my view, I wish that the waiting period to be longer as i feel that its a kind of enjoyment awaiting for happy stuffs & so call an experience or maybe reaction time for unhappy stuffs.... I explain to him that happy moment is always too short or it pass too fast till most people forgot to enjoy it when its happening... Thats y i like waiting period cos i can feel excitement in me, happily waiting & hoping for things to happen or before it actually happens... Hope keep us alive!! =) For bad/unhappy stuffs, I also prefer to wait as i need time to digest how to cope it... For me, i will get tempermental & narrow minded.. So usually i need time to look at things in different angles to find solutions to solve/console myself... Sometimes you may get to learn a lesson from it.... To me i feel tat's life!

My fren view, he dun like to wait for both happy & unhappy stuffs... He prefer both to happen soon even though how bad/unhappy is the event... He explain that at least the outcum is out & fixed rather than tru out the waiting period, you are either worrying every moment for bad stuffs or feeling too excited about the happy things may happen... He explain that the outcum will cum sooner or later, y not make known the outcum, get it done. Be it gd or bad & face it to prevent urself making wild guesses to add on worrying & daydreaming...

There's neither right nor wrong bah... Just different views.... Maybe its the difference between man & woman... Or maybe its just me who do not want to face facts so fast.... Hahaha! But anyway, during these period of worrying i did tink alot & considered alot of stuffs... Anyway, no more worrying liao....

But to be frank, at times i really like to hope for things to happen than making it to happen... I find it a rather bad habit!

[p/s : above views mention does not applys to EVERYTHING in iCe's life....]

i'm penny-less today cos i left my money & card at home~ hoping for people to pay for my expenses until i reach home tonight.... kekez!

Wat a coincidence... <1709>

1 year ago on this very day... Something major happen which affect me alot & change alot of things/routine in my life.....

1 year later on the same day... Another thing happen which also affect me so deeply till i do not noe how to react/express any feelings.....



I am asking myself why is sOoooo coincidence or is it jus my fate???
Tear gland wasn't working today... Was tinking is it becos last year tear gland was working rather hard which result in tearless tis year...



i tink i gonna mark tis day in my calender to be my NOT MY DAY!!!

i hate 1709...

Memories in a box

i nearly forgotten that i hav a box keeping all stuffs related to him.... Cards he gave me during special days, small gifts, small handicrafts he made for me etc etc. I din remember i kept so many of our past until yesterday. That full box brought back alot of memories when i took out those things 1 by 1..... It was way back since 2004...

I clearly remember the reason hw & why i accepted him tat time cos it took me alot of courage & consideration & time plus alot of peers nagging at me.. I din put in much hope in our relationship cos i always claims that me & him was a ridiculous pair cos i feel that we came from different world, different character, different mentality but instead we click well... Due to so many differences, i dun expect any future wf him.. During that period of time, my friends think that i'm bad/weird cos i start tis relationship wf tis guy but dun see him in my future picture of life... Haha! I dunno y i have such instincts..... Anyway, my instincts are proven right after 3 yrs....
So the moral of the story is : Gal's instincts are accurate... Not 100% but at least got 80%... haha!

As i mention, i took out those things to see & read... I found a booklet which record down every bits & pieces before we actually got together... how we laugh, how we quarrel, how we apologise, stupid things we done.. Wat he do to make me happy, how i bully him, wat he sacrifice for me, how did he balance his work, his family & me... Feeling kinda sweet when reading.... As for the cards, they remind me of the 1st card he gave it to me... I actually tell him that its a waste of $ to buy me cards cos its super expensive for just 1 piece of paper... How bad am i!! But after getting to know him better, i knew that is his habit to give cards... Cos he would spend time to find that card not just grab jiu pay liao de... The cards he chosen hav meaning de... Thats y i read & kept all of it... But when i was reading it yest, other than its abit mushy, i found out something which i din noe all these while... I found out that i'm not being a nice gf... Some of the things he mention to me, i din even put it to heart... Until now then i realise it... Maybe i did gradually contribute to tis break up bah...

Every relationship have something to learn... In tis one, i learn alot... Patience, tolerance, forgiviness, anger management, determination, how to wear a natural smile in ur lousiest mood [i tink tats y i din hav much complains when i was in customer svc] & how to be 小女人.... Something like a 3yrs course rite... Keke! In a relationship, its not about who is right who is wrong... It takes 2 hands to clap anyway... People ask me did i blame him or angry wf him... To be frank, i din... Nothing to blame on... Maybe got alittle angry becos he din have courage to face it bah... Other than that nothing else liao bah... Anyway, tis 3yr course is rather fruitful to me... At least i learn so many EQ thingy...

As for the box, its still beside my bed cos last night read till fell asleep... I tink i will just place it back into my cupboard bah.... Dunno when will i open again...

some thoughts....

Just wanna jot down some thoughts...

Yest night was watching the drama series Beach.Ball.Babe... Saw a scene whereby the actor actually browse tru photographs/albums of his wife & flip over the photo.... This action reminds me of my past relationship... i dunno y i start to tink back just becos of tis action.... Cos we did have a photo album full of our photographs & jotted our tots when taking pic or where we r etc etc on each & every photo... I still remember we brought home that album & write when each of us is not by our side... We even have a dinner date just to read watever is written & giggle tru out.... Kinda sweet when tinking back... I noe its abit 'mafan' & 'boliao' for doing tis la... But dating jiu shi do 'boliao' things de ma.... Haha! Enuff of sweetness liao... Now its the regrets part...

Tinking back, i remember clearly that i have a few albums for different relationship [actually only 2 la] but i kept NONE of the albums.... The albums are always with the other party.... i wonder y i din request to keep ley... I tot most galz with keep all these de... Am i right galz? I wonder y i din.... If yes, i can't browse tru when i feel like le... Instead i'm sitting here regretting why i din keep the albums which 'we' put in effort together... Wondering how's my effort doing in other people's hands? Or has it been thrown away long ago liao.... Cos i kept every piece of effort the other party/frens make for me[even though sometimes is nonsense la] so i expect my effort is being appreciated by the other party too.... i still remember those cards, paper notes, little gifts during my sch days which my galz make, wrote to me.... Although some abit goyak oredi la.. but i still keep... u all remember mah?

Hmm... I'm missing my efforts not the person k... Dun get the wrong signal... I dun like my efforts being tarnish de.... i will be very sad de... if got chance, i tink i will take it back from them....