Confused

These days i'm asking myself... Do i really miss him? If not, how do i explain my behaviours these few days...
i can't answer...

Or is it just an act of being regret?
i can't answer as well...

Does he feels the same too?
again... no answer... reason being i'm nt in any position to ask him.


really really troubled...

Phobia

With all the encouragements & utmost courage, i finally overcum my own obstacle... Like wat my fren say, "its jus a 'ok' to allow a chance to happen.. no big deal!" I kept reminding myself to go ahead go ahead & i really did it & i tried... Everything flows more than beta than i suppose BUT the problem jus lies in me...


Regardless of how much care, concern & attentiveness tactics being shown on me...
i'm still can feel te fear in myself...
i'm still afraid of luving & being love.....

is it coincidence or jus fate?

Tis morning i laid on my bed wondering what to wear to work cos i have been ignoring my laundry basket for sometime & currently its overflowing... So i decided to close my eyes & wear whatever i pull out from my wardrode... And surprisingly i gt this top which is very memorable to me... The lasted time i wore this was during our 1st date... and till then i never wan to wear that again cos i afraid it will bring memories again... But today i din bother & jus wear it...

When i was in office checking my email....... I saw tis name which was once so familar yet not as before... I was speechless when i saw his name appear in my inbox.... I still rub my eyes to double confirm.... A moment of surprise, shocked, happy, sad, unbelievable...

Very complicated feelings... Not forgetting that memories came back again..

Actualli felt abit scary cos wearing this memorable top would result to receive his email...

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Is it Coincidence or Fate?

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I haven had the courage to open that email partly becos of its subject

its our secret code we've created during the past...

~Fear araise~